I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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