let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
