i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
