420 ftw
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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