And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
