Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Is it because I queefed?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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