Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize