Whatcha textin bout Willis?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
