he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
