**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Panties = found
Randomize
