My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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