we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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