it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
