you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
