You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize