the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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