This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
