Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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