she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
