she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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