So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
