just tell him i said nine months
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
is it fun? or sober?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
