I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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