and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My ass is underappreciated
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize