Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
