i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
