College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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