I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize