he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Can't talk, ducks in the car
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
