We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
