someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
