Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize