I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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