I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
