I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
