I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
