Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
