I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Text me some of your sweat
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
