Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
