Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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