I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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