By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
