I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
