I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
