So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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