I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
