can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
