just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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