the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
