i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
