I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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