so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
