If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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