You really coming over, don't trick.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
