Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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