Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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