1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
