i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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