i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
