Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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