I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
