you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
